6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
