WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
