your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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