when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
