no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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