Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
