Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
send nudes
from the living room?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
