Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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