puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
