I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize