So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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