Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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