just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize