Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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