Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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