He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
