I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
