I just saw a hot homeless man
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
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we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
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They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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