okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
