his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
