Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
