My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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