covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
