Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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