I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My ass is underappreciated
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize