VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
