dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
