physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
