trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize