When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
