Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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