So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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