I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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