There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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