my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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