Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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