he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
