i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
