May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
