I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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