i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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