nut hugger
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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