the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
