I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
