is your mom at the bar?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
