Fuck appropriateness.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
