i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
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that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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