i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize