It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
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100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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