You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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