they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
