I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
