honey bunches of taint.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
