fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
