A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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