I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
