woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
