She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
