It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
