I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
