He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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