yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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