I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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