Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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