she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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